Discovery
by Jay Dot Dee
Summary: Xena is forced to admit the depth of her feelings for Gabrielle.
1. Chapter 1

******A/N: This is the first of pair of stories I wrote a good fifteen years ago. In this story, Xena is forced to admit her true feelings for Gabrielle. I've cleaned up some formatting issues and hopefully haven't missed anything that makes the story difficult to read. Feedback is appreciated. I do not anticipate revisiting Xena fanfic.**

* * *

**There is No Darkness**

The sun flickered from behind the clouds, creating shadows across the tall warrior woman's face. She looked back at her chattering, gesticulating companion. Her face seemed to be in perpetual sunshine. Xena turned toward the road, smiling ever so slightly.

"What!," demanded Gabrielle. "What about that story did you find so amusing?" The small redhead's face, scrunched in anger, was still radiant.

"Uh-" Xena winced, amused but ashamed to have upset Gabrielle. "I'm sorry. I wasn't laughing. I just kind of tuned out."

Pouting face, sparkling eyes. "You never listen to me!

Xena stopped under an overhanging tree, her face almost hidden in the shadows of the leaves. "Gabrielle, I'm sorry. I know you need to practice telling your stories, but I'm not a tavern audience! Give me a break. You know I don't know anything about that bard stuff. Maybe," she snapped, frustrated, "you should think about the value of silence in oratory. A long silence."

"Fine! I'm sorry to have annoyed you!" More petulance than fire, but it had become petulance with a principle. Xena sighed and, with a quick tug on Argo's reins, resumed walking. Gabrielle, sputtering, followed.

Hours later, silent hours, Xena said, "This is a good spot. We'll camp here." Wordlessly, Gabrielle set to her camp duties, fire and dinner.

Gabrielle surreptitiously watched Xena tend to Argo, apparently oblivious to her sulking. _She doesn't need me and she doesn't want me_. Aware that her foul mood had lasted far longer than was normal for her but unable to do anything about it, Gabrielle snorted and began throwing herbs in the stew pot. _Just face it, Gab. You're a Warrior Princess Groupie_. "I've gotta get outta here," she muttered.

"What's that?" Xena asked, suddenly alert. _Damn her hearing_! Gabrielle thought. It's almost supernatural.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that maybe it's time I went back to Athens. To the Academy." There, she'd said it. I'm going to leave you. Will that interest you at all?

Xena spun around, turning her attention back to Argo. "If that's what you want." Argo winced at the ferocity of Xena's grooming.

"Turn around." Gabrielle had a sudden need to see

"Why? What is it you hope to see?" Xena did not move.

"I want to know if you care whether or not I'm here.

"Of course I care," Xena all but yelled. "How can you think otherwise?!" Xena leaned against Argo. She looked tired, almost weak.

"I'm sorry. I'm just feeling unappreciated, I guess. Like a tag-a-long."

Xena turned, too far from the fire to be seen clearly in the darkness. She looked at Gabrielle, golden in the light of the campfire. "I appreciate you. More than you'll ever know. I want you to stay." A slight step back, further into the darkness. "Do you really want to go?"

Gabrielle felt horrible. She'd hurt Xena, and she didn't understand why. "No." _Xena is so remote sometimes, like she doesn't care if I'm here or not, wrapped up in her own little world_. "I'm sorry. I guess I was just feeling sorry for myself." Gabrielle's determination to punish Xena for her inattention evaporated. "C'mon, soup's on." She grabbed a bowl, filled it from the pot resting on the edge of the fire, and held it out, smiling. "It's much better hot."

Xena took a step, then stopped. "I'd better get more wood for the fire. It'll be chilly tonight." She spun and was gone, swallowed in the night.

A quarter of an hour later, she reappeared, silent as a ghost, looking calm and serene. She dropped the wood then sat beside Gabrielle and picked up the bowl. It was still warm, Gabrielle's doing. "This is good. Thank you." Xena grimaced. "I should say that more often. I take you for granted sometimes." She put her arm around Gabrielle's shoulders and squeezed gently. "I don't know what I'd do without you, and I don't want to find out!" Gabrielle smiled, leaning into Xena's side. "Don't," Xena scolded, "do this again, okay?"

* * *

"Wake up, Gabrielle." Gabrielle felt a soft push on her shoulder. The pushing became stronger, more insistent. "Come on, get up! Time to go!"

"Urglrf," Gabrielle said, which Xena knew from experience, meant just five more minutes, okay? Xena smiled and brushed her hair back, ever so gently. "Now, you slug-a-bed. Or I'll have Argo drag you, blankets and all!"

"Mrrrf," Gabrielle grumbled, pushing back the blankets. Her clothes were disheveled, revealing even more of her smooth, unmarked skin than normal. Xena turned away and closed her eyes for a moment, breathing deeply. She got up and finished the last of the camp-breaking duties. Gabrielle got up and stretched, luxuriously, sinuously. Xena did not watch.

At midmorning, Xena stopped at a grassy slope, half shaded from the warm sun. "Let's have breakfast," she said, tossing a bag from Argo's saddle to the ground. "It's a lovely day, and we're not in a hurry. Let's enjoy it." Unexpected words from Xena's lips, but Gabrielle didn't argue. She and Xena sat, side by side in the warm sun.

_I've been so unfair to her_, Gabrielle thought. _She's got so much darkness in her past. It's a wonder she can care about anything at all_.

"Tell me the story again. The one I didn't listen to yesterday." Xena looked straight ahead. All Gabrielle could see of her face was her long, dark hair.

"Oh, you don't have to. I know my stories bore you." Gabrielle smiled shyly. "I'm sorry for acting like a little kid. I could never leave you, you know."

"It's not the quality, it's the quantity. And I know I tend to brood. I'm sorry too." Xena turned to face Gabrielle, her blue eyes glowing. "Are we okay now?"

"Yeah!" Gabrielle leaned briefly against Xena's shoulder. "We're okay."

"So tell me a story. No, I mean it. I want to listen to you." Xena laid back, her head on the grass. "I find your voice comforting."

Gabrielle was overwhelmed. "Okay, you asked for it. But not that story, too depressing. I'll tell you one with a happy ending." She shifted so she could see Xena's face. Xena's eyes were closed, her face calm. A faint smiled played on her lips. She was beautiful.

"Uh, um, once upon a time, there was a handsome prince. He didn't live in a castle, but wandered the land, seeking to right the wrongs done by his father, a cruel, malicious king.

"At one village, which he saved from a band of thieves, that's another story, he met a young woman. Her family was gone, and there was nothing for her in the village. She begged him to take her with him, if only to the next village."

Gabrielle started to get into the story, which she was making up on the spot. She wondered if Xena could tell. Probably, since she hadn't had a chance to come up with names yet.

"The prince agreed, but he didn't like it. He didn't want to ruin the girl's reputation, and he wasn't the type to take advantage. The woman, her name was, ah, Meleny, she seemed content with the arrangement. Meleny asked the prince, ah, Prince Althred, to show her how to defend herself, in case they were attacked on the road."

At the word attacked, Xena's eyes opened, and she tensed up, frozen except for her darting eyes. "Down," she yelled, pushing Gabrielle into the grass as she leapt seemingly straight up. Gabrielle, her face in the grass, heard several nasty male chuckles and the distinctive noise of swords being pulled from scabbards.

Xena's war cry reverberated and she disappeared from Gabrielle's side. Gabrielle rolled to her side and looked up. She saw Xena fly through the air, smash one armed man in the face with her feet, do a backflip from off of the man's face as he was falling to the ground, and land behind a second man. Xena tapped the man on the shoulder, he turned, and she decked him with a right cross to the chin.

The third and last of the thugs waved his sword about warily. Xena, smiling, advanced on him, her sword drawn. She smashed his sword away twice, nearly sending him spinning with each blow. Xena let the man charge her. She reversed her grip on her sword, ducked under his roundhouse swing, and popped back up in front of him, too close to strike with his sword, and brought the hilt of her sword, smashing the underside of his chin. He head snapped back and he dropped to the ground.

Three on one are bad odds when the one is Xena, Gabrielle thought to herself, with a chuckle. Strong arms grabbed her, immobilizing her. "Oops. Four."

"Stop, or I'll slice her pretty little neck," the man holding Gabrielle said, his voice unreasonably calm, considering. Xena turned and slowly lowered her blade as she saw Gabrielle, eyes wide and no longer struggling, knife pressing into her throat. A small dot of blood welled up, then slowly trickled down her neck.

"All right," Xena said, moving slowly away from the three men. They slowly, painfully stood, not quite ready to move to flank the warrior princess. "What do you want?"

"You," the bandit leader smiled. "There's quite a reward for you in certain quarters, you know. This one," he said, nodding at Gabrielle, "is worthless to me, but from what I've heard, you'll do about anything to keep her safe." Xena, seething, dropped her sword. Two of the men ran to tie Xena's wrists behind her. The third tied Gabrielle's wrists.

Still holding the knife to Gabrielle's throat, the bandit grinned at Xena. His body was pressed up against Gabrielle's back. "Pretty piece of fluff, isn't she?" He ran his free hand across her shoulder, over her breasts, down her thigh. Xena's eyes went cold, colder than ice. "Hurt her, touch her, and I'll kill you. Slowly, painfully."

"Try and she dies," the bandit laughed. He ran his hand back up Gabrielle's thigh, over her crotch. Gabrielle whimpered, trying to shrink away, but there was nowhere to go. Xena's eyes went wild, insane. A small part of Gabrielle's mind dispassionately noticed that those eyes were perhaps even more frightening than the bandit, but her body begged to differ.

Xena snarled like an angry tiger and crouched slightly, preparing to leap. Just as she started to rise, the flat of a sword crashed down on her head. She fell bonelessly, unconscious.

"That was fun," the man laughed. "Go join your friend. She's a lot easier to transport alive than dead, and having you as a hostage will keep her from trying anything foolish. But," he growled, "try to run or otherwise annoy me," he said, shoving her toward Xena, "and I'll give you to my associates." The three men leered at her, laughing.

Gabrielle fell face-first into the grass beside Xena. She struggled into a sitting position. "Uh, excuse me," she said, voice shaking, "she's hurt. I won't try to run. Will you untie my hands so I can help her?" The man glared, then shrugged. "Why not? As soon as we secure her a little better." He gestured, and the men rolled Xena roughly, putting iron manacles on her wrists and ankles. They chained Gabrielle's ankles and cut her wrists free. They moved back, snickering.

"Xena? Xena, wake up!" Gabrielle gently straightened the warrior's body into a relatively comfortable position. "May I have my pack? It has bandages in it." Blood was running from Xena's head.

"You're dangerously close to annoying me," the bandit said, but nonetheless gestured for one of the men to comply with Gabrielle's request. The thug rooted through the bag for weapons, found none and tossed it beside the women.

Gabrielle quickly and efficiently cleaned and bandaged the wound on Xena's head, not nearly as bad as the blood implied. She tenderly brushed Xena's hair back and spoke softly to her. "Xena, you've got to wake up. Try to wake up, for me, please?" Xena's eyes fluttered and she moaned softly. "That's it, wake up. C'mon, wake up, Xena." Gabrielle ran her hand gently down Xena's cheek. "Wake up, Xena."

"Five more minutes," Xena mumbled, eyes slowly opening.

"Thank the gods! Xena, you have to stay awake. Those men have chained your wrists and ankles, and my ankles. You were hit on the head, you have to stay awake!" A part of Gabrielle was relieved to see that Xena's eyes had returned to normal. Bright, sparkling blue normal.

Xena glanced around, seeing that the men had chained her wrists in front of her. She almost smiled. Then she saw Gabrielle's face, the blood still on her neck. "Did, did he . . .?" Gabrielle shook her head. "How long was I out?"

"A few minutes." The longest minutes of her life.

"Help me sit up." Gabrielle, not happy about moving the injured woman, lifted Xena's shoulders and put the pack behind her back. Xena's eyes unfocused for a moment, then she slowly started to shake off the effects of the blow. Once again, Gabrielle was amazed at her friend's recuperative powers. She began to feel sure they'd escape. Nothing could stop Xena.

"Gabrielle," Xena whispered, "get something in my hands so I can pick the lock. Then roll me over, pretend there's a wound on my back. Sit so they can't see my hands."

Gabrielle didn't miss a beat. "Now to see to your back." She lowered the moaning Xena again. She rummaged through the back, pulling out a wad of cloth, some herbs. She gently rolled Xena on her side and shifted herself to lean over and prod softly on Xena's lower back. "Does it hurt here? Here?"

Xena muttered, hands busy with the thick metal pin Gabrielle had so cleverly slipped into her hands. A soft click, another, and Xena whispered, "Okay, sit me back up." Gabrielle returned Xena to a sitting position, keeping her hand on her only weapon, the straps of the bag behind Xena's back. Xena, head rolling, chin on her chest, moaned, "Lemme up, I'll kill the bastards."

The thug assigned to guard duty, a job he by his inattention felt unnecessary, walked over and laughed. He prodded Xena in the ribs with his boot. "You aren't doing anything, Warrior Bitch. I oughta show you right now how a woman oughta act toward a man." Grinning, his hands moved to rest on his belt.

Xena slowly raised her head. Her eyes were sharp, cold. She smiled, a savage grin. In a low voice she said, "I know how to treat men like you." So suddenly the man never saw it, Xena whipped her arm, no longer chained, slamming the manacles across the man's face. He screamed and fell, his face a bloody mess. Xena contorted and leapt up, how Gabrielle could not guess, and flung the chakram at her waist. It sliced open the throat of a second thug, careened off of a tree, sliced through the sword-hand of the third thug, and returned to Xena's outstretched hand. She quickly crouched and struck the chakram against her leg irons, cutting through the chain.

Still sitting, Gabrielle flung her bag at the third thug, knocking him to the ground.

The bandit leader snarled and turned to run. Xena ran a few steps to her sword, still on the ground. She snatched it up, screamed her war cry and leapt, spinning, to land in front of the bandit. She smiled, feral and humorless, eyes slightly wild. "Going somewhere? We have a score to settle, you and I." Xena moved her sword from side to side, smiling terribly, advancing.

"I surrender," the man grinned, dropping his sword. "The great Xena can't kill a defenseless man, now, can she?"

"Yes," Xena growled, her smile gone, "she can." The bandit, eyes now wide with panic, spun and started to run. Xena coolly gauged the distance, drew back her arm, and threw the sword. Gabrielle, trying with little success to free herself with the pin, froze as she saw the blade, moving as if in slow motion, spin end over end, the point sliding effortlessly through the bandit's back, emerging from his chest. He stumbled and fell, his shocked expression his last.

Xena quickly checked the other men. Seeing that they were all out of commission, she nodded to herself in satisfaction. She turned to see Gabrielle, still frozen, eyes wide. Xena hurried over to free her, her blue eyes now filled with tenderness and concern. "Are you okay?"

"No! Let's, let's just get out of here, can we?" Gabrielle was shaking violently.

"Of course." Xena rose and walked toward Argo. A few steps, then she slowed, staggered and turned to Gabrielle. Eyes unfocused, she said, "Uh, Gabrielle, I think they hit me harder than I thought." She fell, unconscious before she hit the ground.

Gabrielle moved to her friend's side and held her. Xena, moaning softly, came to. Gabrielle stared at her face, so beautiful, her eyes so warm. It's like she's two people sometimes, Gabrielle thought. There's my Xena, and then there's a cold-blooded killer. She smoothed Xena hair and said, "We need to get you on Argo and get away from here. Can you stand up?"

Xena, supported by Gabrielle, slowly stood. They walked to Argo and Gabrielle more or less pushed Xena up onto the rock-steady horse. "I'm going to tie your hands loosely to Argo's neck. I'm afraid you'll fall." Gabrielle secured Xena in the saddle. She gathered their possessions, the sword last of all. She pulled it out of the bandit's body, bile rising in her throat. Xena's sheath was out of reach on her back, so Gabrielle tied the sword to Argo's saddle. She led the horse off at a slow, easy walk.

"Xena, you need to try to stay awake. I usually do most of the talking, so now it's your turn. Talk. That way I'll know you're awake, and that you're lucid."

"I don't really have anything to say," Xena mumbled, her voice weak. "I'll be fine."

"Do it," Gabrielle shouted. Her nerves were a little more than frayed, and an uncooperative patient was just really too much.

Startled, Xena complied, telling a rambling story about her childhood home. A story rich in details about everything except Xena, Gabrielle noted.

* * *

A couple of hours before dusk, Gabrielle called a halt. Xena had improved markedly, staying awake and alert. Gabrielle helped her down, ignoring Xena's protests, and insisted Xena sit and rest while she prepared camp. Xena tried to resist, but although she felt much, much better, she didn't have the heart to ruin Gabrielle's nurturing. It was so seldom that Gabrielle had the chance to take care of Xena, and she was obviously delighted by the prospect. Gabrielle got Argo settled, gathered wood, made a cheery fire, and set to preparing dinner. "We're having stew tonight. I want a hot meal inside you."

Xena smiled. "Thanks. I want to start saying that more. Thank you."

"Don't go overboard. You've done the same for me." Gabrielle put the stew on to heat and sat down across the fire from Xena. " Are you feeling okay now?"

"Yes." Seeing the doubt in Gabrielle's eyes, she added, "Really. I feel fine, and my headache's been gone for hours. I promise I'm okay."

Gabrielle considered, then nodded. She cleared her throat and said, "Can we talk?"

"Of course," Xena said, confused.

"Well, I'm just a little concerned. I mean, that bandit leader, he was scum, but.."

"But he didn't deserve to die, stabbed in the back?" Fire in her eyes, Xena continued, "After what he did to you?"

"You can't even see the cut on my throat anymore," Gabrielle said, hand unconsciously moving to her neck.

"He touched you," Xena said, voice low and even. Gabrielle could see, though, that Xena's hands were trembling slightly. Another internal battle for control, a seemingly endless battle.

"Yes, it was pretty horrible. I still feel... dirty. I'm going to have to take a bath in that stream over there after dinner." Gabrielle kept her voice calm, her gaze steady.

"I couldn't stop myself." Xena's eyes were closed. "All I could think about was how he touched you, how you tried to get away, how scared you were." Eyes open, very slightly wild. "I can't help it, Gabrielle. I care about you. Anyone who hurts you is asking me to kill them. It's as simple as that." Pain filled her eyes. She closed them again, trying to hide the tears threatening to spill.

Gabrielle moved over beside Xena, arms around the trembling warrior. "It's okay now. I'm okay. We're safe. I know I'm always safe, when I'm with you." She stroked Xena's soft black hair. "We're okay now." Xena nodded, her face buried in Gabrielle's shoulder. Gabrielle held her, feeling her trembling slowly subside.

The killer only comes out when I'm in danger, Gabrielle realized. She cares about me so much that she gives up control of the monster inside of her for me. For me. She gives up control for me. Suddenly, Gabrielle knew that Xena's ferocity was also love.

Xena, face still resting on Gabrielle's shoulder, sighed deeply and put her arms around Gabrielle and hugged her, tightly, holding her for a few heartbeats. Then she let go and moved a few inches away. "That stew smells good. It's ready, isn't it? I'm starving."

Gabrielle smiled, still feeling Xena's arms around her. "Yeah, it's ready." She grabbed bowls and spoons and served dinner.

After the dishes had been scrubbed, Gabrielle said, "I'm going for that bath. I still have the willies. Want to come?" Xena nodded and rose. They walked the short distance to the stream and stripped. Gabrielle, standing slightly behind Xena, ran her eyes over her body. So strong, so remarkably free of scars. Strong, but soft, voluptuous. Gabrielle shook her head and moved off into the water before she got herself into trouble.

Xena lingered on the shore, watching her friend walk past. The redhead had filled out. She was small, but muscular. Not petite, not chunky. Strong, smooth, perfect. Xena followed her in, pain again in her eyes.

The water was cold, but not cold enough to be really uncomfortable. "C'mere," Gabrielle said, grinning. "Let me see to that hole in your head." Xena moved over to where Gabrielle stood. The water came to Gabrielle's shoulders, to Xena's breasts.

"Down," Gabrielle laughed, putting her hands on Xena's shoulders, turning and pushing down. Xena knelt, the water to her chin. Gabrielle stood behind Xena, her breasts lightly brushing Xena's back. Xena closed her eyes as Gabrielle checked her head wound. "You're fine. Wash your hair if you want, but don't scrub hard. Better yet, let me do it." Xena nodded. She felt Gabrielle's leg against her. She tensed, but did not move from the contact.

Gabrielle felt Xena tense, heard her sigh. She washed Xena's hair, slowly, sensuously. She felt Xena relax a little, never completely. Finished, she leaned to Xena's ear and whispered, "Now you can return the favor." From this position, she could see Xena's eyes fly open, wide with panic. Laughing softly, Gabrielle put her hands on Xena's side, fingers wrapped around to touch the soft edges of Xena's breasts. She urged Xena to her feet, let her hands slide down and away as Xena rose. Gabrielle tossed a bag of sandsoap to Xena and turned around.

With a gentle touch few would expect, a tenderness that continually amazed Gabrielle, Xena washed Gabrielle's hair. Xena didn't hurry, to Gabrielle delight. "Tell me the rest of the story," Xena murmured. "The prince had met a woman. In a village. What next?"

Now Gabrielle felt a surge of panic. It was almost as if Xena were calling her bluff. "Ah, okay. Yeah. So the prince, um-"

"Althred."

"Yeah, Althred. He taught Meleny how to defend herself with a quarterstaff. She became quite good at it, too."

"I'm sure she did," Xena said, rinsing Gabrielle's hair.

"Hush, you're distracting me." _But don't stop doing it_, Gabrielle thought. "So anyway, they passed village after village, righting wrongs. They became best of friends, nothing more. They each were falling in love with the other, but were afraid to endanger their friendship."

Xena gently directed Gabrielle back to shallow water. "Keep going." She began to carefully, slowly wash Gabrielle's back, arms, sides.

"Uh, yeah. So, one day, they encountered a witch in the woods. She told them that she would both curse and bless them, and threw a magic powder in Meleny's face. Meleny fell to the ground in a deep sleep. The witch cackled, 'Your sleeping beauty will awaken only when you know what both your hearts truly desire.' Then, in a puff of smoke, she vanished."

Xena had washed just about every part of Gabrielle's body except the parts Gabrielle was interested in having washed. "You'd better finish," Xena smiled, handing the bag of sandsoap back, keeping some for herself. Xena began to wash herself. "Go on with the story."

"Yeah." Gabrielle started to finish her bath, eyes locked on Xena's, locked on hers. "So the prince carried Meleny to a nearby cave and sat down beside her. He stared at her and tried and tried to think about what the witch had meant.

"He kept getting distracted by her face, it was so peaceful, so beautiful. He thought about revenge on the people who'd attacked her village or tracking and killing the witch, but the thought of leaving her side made him feel as if someone had poleaxed him." They finished bathing and drifted to deeper water, half standing, half floating. "The longer he sat there, the more he hurt. No matter what, he had to get her back, and never let her go.

"Finally," Gabrielle said, voice getting softer, Xena moving closer to hear, "Althred realized what he truly wanted. Hoping that it was also what Meleny also wanted, he leaned over, said 'I love you', and kissed her.

"Meleny awoke and said, 'I heard you say you love me. Is it true?' 'Yes,' the prince said, and Meleny said, 'To hear you say that is my heart's desire. I love you, too.' She kissed him, and they both knew that their friendship was really love, and admitting it only made it stronger. And they lived happily ever after."

Xena and Gabrielle continued to stare into each others' eyes in silence for several moments. Finally, Gabrielle lowered her eyes and said, "I'm turning into a prune. Let's get back." They moved to shore, dressed and returned to the fire, both too deep in thought to talk.

They sat by the fire to remove the last chill from the water before going to bed. Xena fed wood into the fire, moving the logs about aimlessly with a stick. Gabrielle couldn't stand the silence anymore. "Nice night, isn't it?"

Xena continued to poke at the perfectly fine fire for a few moments. "I wish," she finally said, "that you could have your prince."

"I already do." Gabrielle was shocked and terrified by her boldness. She struggled mightily to keep her face from betraying her fear. Willing her hands not to shake, she waited for Xena to answer. Xena toyed absently with the stick. Gabrielle closed her eyes, feeling the sting of rejection rise in her cheeks.

"Gabrielle," Xena finally said, voice almost too soft to hear, "What about Perdicus?"

Gabrielle looked up, saw tears starting down from Xena's bright, very vulnerable blue eyes. "I, well, I guess I wanted something. Something I was afraid I would never get from you, something I was afraid to ask for. I guess," she sighed, "I wanted normalcy. Normalcy. That's funny, isn't it? I still hate Callisto for killing him, and I still miss him, but my love for him, I've come to realize that it was for a friend, not a lover. I still feel so guilty for missing him as my friend, not as my husband." Tears ran down Gabrielle's face, her own darkness revealed. "I'm an idiot."

"No." Xena reached over and ran the back of her fingers across Gabrielle's face. "No, you were just confused, and you didn't trust me enough to share your secrets. I'm glad you do now."

"Are you still in love with Marcus? Hercules?"

Xena laughed. "No, Marcus, besides being dead, was a colleague. Oh, I loved him, still love him, but I wasn't 'in love' with him. We both knew that. As far as Hercules goes, he's just a friend. I don't think," Xena chuckled, "that I could be intimate with a demigod. Too much pressure."

"Have you ever, you know, been with a woman?" Gabrielle's voice squeaked.

"Yes."

Xena made no move to say anything else, to return the question. Gabrielle wasn't sure what she could say anyway, since her only knowledge came from scrolls her mother would not have approved of had she known. Finally, Gabrielle couldn't stand it. Maybe Xena was right, maybe she did need to learn to appreciate silence. Or not always be the first to break it. "Did you like it?"

"Yes."

"More than one? More than one woman, I mean?"

"Yes."

"A little more detail, please!"

"Gabrielle, leave it. I know who I am and what I want, okay?"

"Do you," Gabrielle whispered, looking at the fire, anywhere but those blue eyes, "want me?"

Xena looked at Gabrielle, oblivious to the tears now flowing freely down her own face. She closed her eyes and said slowly, calmly, "Gabrielle, when you married Perdicus, you might just as well have stabbed me through the heart. But I will never, never force you into anything you don't want." Her eyes opened, determined. "Nor will I let you get into something you think you want, just because you're traumatized."

"Traumatized?!" Gabrielle rose, hands waving. "Traumatized! I can't believe you said that! Of all the arrogant, self-important-"

Xena also rose, hands open, tone placating. "Hey, don't get all upset. I just want to protect you."

"Protect me from what, you?"

"Yes," Xena whispered. "I don't want my, my dark nature to ever harm you." She put her hands on Gabrielle's shoulders. "I saw your face when I killed that bandit. You were terrified. Terrified of me."

"I was. But I understand now." She moved forward a step, her body lightly touching Xena's. She put her arms around the warrior and continued, "You did what you did because you, well, you love me. I know you have your demons, but you acted out of love, not hate. You have no darkness with me, Xena."

Xena hesitated a moment, then put her arms around the redheaded young woman and hugged her, hugged her long and hard. "I do love you," Xena said, head resting on top of Gabrielle's.

Gabrielle lifted her head. She put her hands on Xena's cheeks, gently guiding Xena's face to hers. "You are my heart's desire. I love you, too." She kissed her softly,

Xena hesitated for only an instant before returning the kiss. Soft kisses became deeper, more urgent. Their hands began to roam, exploring each other's bodies. Gabrielle inhaled sharply as Xena cupped her breasts. Xena pulled her head back and looked questioningly into Gabrielle's eyes. "Don't stop," was all Gabrielle said, pulling Xena back to her. She fumbled with Xena's chemise, trying to rip it off without actually tearing it.

Xena took a half step back and pulled her chemise off, then did the same with Gabrielle's clothing. "You are so beautiful," she whispered, running her hands through Gabrielle's red hair, down her face, across her back. "Gods, I've wanted to do this for so, so long." She pulled the smiling, radiant woman to her. She kissed Gabrielle, tenderly, thoroughly, then moved her kisses down the neck so recently mistreated. Further down, to her breasts, gently licking, sucking the hard nipples.

Gabrielle moaned with pleasure, pulled Xena's head into her. She felt light-headed, dreamlike. "Why," she whispered, "did you wait? Ohh," she moaned, as Xena moved lower.

A moment later, Xena rose, kissed her deep, long, hard. Not breaking the kiss, Xena crouched, moved her hands down, and lifted Gabrielle. Gabrielle's legs wrapped tightly around Xena's body as she was carried to the blankets.

Of necessity, the kiss broke when Xena set Gabrielle gently on her back. Gabrielle marveled at the casual display of strength. Xena's dark hair hung down, brushing Gabrielle's face. "Last chance to change your mind," Xena said, hovering over her.

"Arrgh!" Gabrielle reached up and pulled Xena down, hard. Her body was screaming for Xena's touch. Xena enthusiastically obliged.

_"I say to you, this house is dark." "Madman, thou errest. I say, there is no darkness but ignorance." - Twelfth Night_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This is the second of pair of stories I wrote a good fifteen years ago. It takes place immediately after the first and is primarily concerned with their reactions to the change in their relationship. This one is a bit lighter than the first. I've cleaned up some formatting issues and hopefully haven't missed anything that makes the story difficult to read. Feedback is appreciated. I do not anticipate revisiting Xena fanfic.**

* * *

**By Any Other Name **

"Wake up, Gabrielle." Gabrielle felt hands, Xena's hands, sliding slowly up and down her arm. A lover's touch, not the usual prod in the shoulder.

"Mmm," Gabrielle sighed. She slowly woke, realizing that Xena was crouched beside her, dressed in her armor. She savored her last memory from the previous night, the feeling of Xena's body pressed against hers. "Did you get any sleep?" Xena rarely slept more than a few hours a night, Gabrielle knew. As soon as the nightmares started, she woke, and that was that for the night.

"Yes, surprisingly enough. I slept until dawn."

"See? I was what you needed all along. Wild, passionate sex, and you're out like a light."

Xena laughed and bent down to kiss her cheek. "C'mon, lazybones. Time to get moving." She grabbed Gabrielle's outstretched hand and pulled her to her feet. As the blankets fell, Xena saw that Gabrielle was nude. "Oh, my!"

"Don't even think about it," Gabrielle said, teeth starting to chatter. "It's cold."

"You'll be a whole lot warmer in that outfit you insist on wearing, too," Xena shot back.

"Hey," Gabrielle exclaimed, eyes wide with innocence, "I worked hard for these abs and these legs." Gabrielle ran her hand slowly across her abdomen and down her thigh. "I deserve to show them off, don't you think?"

"I thought you were too cold for any more of that."

Gabrielle moved and ran her hands over Xena's leather breastplate. "I'm warming up."

"Mmm, I'll bet you are." Xena allowed herself to spend a few moments running her hands over her lover's nude body, sighing as Gabrielle explored her clothed one. She was, she had to admit, relieved that Gabrielle had obviously not had a change of heart.

"C'mon," Xena said, reluctantly disengaging, "we'd better go. This isn't the world's safest place. Two of those bandits didn't die."

Gabrielle shuddered, then turned to gather up her clothes. "Yeah, let's move on along."

* * *

"Are you ready to stop for lunch, yet?" Xena usually wasn't the one to suggest a lunch break, but anything to distract Gabrielle. Sure, the girl was a bard, but who'd have thought anyone could talk so much for so long, and still say nothing? Well, that wasn't really fair, Xena knew. The small redhead was simply excited, delighted with their change in status. And talking about it, _constantly_.

"Okay! Wow, is it already time for lunch? This day is just flying by!" Gabrielle skipped, _skipped_ for Zeus' sake, over to a clearing near the road. Xena just shook her head and followed.

"Gabrielle, there's a stream just past those trees. Get some water, will you?" Gabrielle grabbed an empty waterskin and, gods, skipped off.

_Bread and jerky for lunch_, Xena decided. _She can't talk while she's chewing_. Xena directed Argo to a nice, lush patch of grass, then set out their lunch on a blanket. "Hurry up, Gabrielle," she called. Xena grabbed a chunk of bread and began to eat. Realizing that she hadn't heard a response from Gabrielle, Xena yelled, "Gabrielle? Gabrielle!"

Still no response. Xena, starting to worry, got up and moved stealthily in the direction Gabrielle had taken, sword drawn. She crept from tree to tree, silent and unseen. Ahead, she could hear the stream. It was just ahead, over those bushes.

Gabrielle shrieked in surprise as Xena landed on the edge of the stream, sword waving, eyes darting around.

Xena lowered her sword at the sight of Gabrielle, nude, standing in a pool of shoulder-high water. She sheathed her sword and, hands on hips, said, "What are you doing? Why didn't you answer me?"

"Um, I wanted to surprise you," Gabrielle said meekly. "Not a good idea?"

"You might try 'Hey, Xena, come over here' next time."

"Hey, Xena," Gabrielle laughed, "come over here." She moved seductively in the water, which was clear enough to afford a good view. Gabrielle had realized that Xena liked, _really liked_ to look at her body. She enjoyed the feeling of power as Xena swallowed and took an involuntary step forward.

"No, we can't," Xena said, stopping. "Argo and our supplies are within view of the road. "Come on, let's get back." Gabrielle pouted, not moving. "Gabrielle, come on. I'm hungry."

"So am I," Gabrielle leered. "Move Argo over here and join me."

Xena thought about it for a moment, then, surprised and slightly disgusted at herself for being so easily distracted, narrowed her eyes and said, voice low, "Gabrielle, come out of there right now. I mean it."

Gabrielle sighed and climbed out. Xena, not trusting herself in the presence of Gabrielle's wet, nude body, tossed Gabrielle's clothes to her and started back to Argo and lunch.

Gabrielle sat down on the blanket beside Xena with a dramatic sigh. "I'm sorry for trying to trick you. I just thought you'd want to, you know.."

Xena's eyes softened. "Gabrielle, I do want to." Xena ran her eyes over Gabrielle's body. "Oh, yeah, I want to. But," Xena added, eyes back on the redhead's radiant face, "I also want you, us, to be safe. I don't want to be ambushed while my face is buried in-"

"Okay, okay! I get the point," Gabrielle interjected. She took note of the food spread before them. There were cups, but no waterskin. "What do you want to drink with this?"

"Gabrielle," Xena asked, voice deceptively light, "where's the water you went to get?"

Eyes wide, Gabrielle squeaked, "Oh, I completely forgot!" She started to stand, but Xena put her hand on her shoulder.

"We'll get it after lunch. I'll get the other waterskin from the pack. Eat." Xena was concerned by Gabrielle's inattention, but not enough to make an issue of it. Yet.

They finished eating and Gabrielle leaned back on her elbows and sighed. "It's such a beautiful day, don't you think?"

"Yes, and we're wasting it here. Come on, let's get moving."

"Not just yet," Gabrielle smiled playfully. "Kiss me first."

Xena blinked a few times and thought,_ I made a conscious choice to start sleeping with her. I should have thought ahead. _Nonetheless, Xena leaned over and kissed her lightly, on the lips. Gabrielle quickly reached out and put her arms around Xena, pulling her into a tight embrace. Xena's resolve vanished, and she began to kiss Gabrielle with abandon. They rolled around in the grass, hands everywhere.

Argo snorted and stomped around a bit. The women looked up at her. Then they looked back at each other and started to laugh. "I guess," Gabrielle said, "Argo isn't much of a voyeur." They kissed once muiore and stood. They spent a minute readjusting and refastening their attire.

"I'll go get the waterskin," Xena said. "if you'll pack up the lunch things." She jogged off toward the stream. Gabrielle watched her run, very much enjoying the view.

They got back to the road and Xena climbed gracefully, effortlessly onto Argo. She looked down at Gabrielle and said, "I'd like to make up for lost time." She held her hand down for Gabrielle, who swarmed up behind Xena. A twitch of the reins, and Argo started off at a fast walk.

Gabrielle put her arms around Xena's waist and leaned into her back with a contented sigh. Xena leaned back into her, enjoying the feel of Gabrielle's breasts against her back, the well-muscled thighs pressed against her. She moved her hands down to rest lightly on top of Gabrielle's. Any reservations Xena had about the change in their relationship melted away. They rode for awhile, both uninterested in changing their positions.

At the first signs of civilization, Xena straightened. "As I recall," she said, "there's a village not far ahead. We'll be there a couple of hours before nightfall." She turned to look back at Gabrielle. "I'm not saying anything about your cooking, which is wonderful, by the way, but you deserve a night off. Want to have dinner in the village?"

"Hey, yeah! Do they have an inn?"

"Yes, but I'd rather eat, then get out of town and make camp."

"Why?! They have beds in inns!"

"You make a lot of noise." Xena grinned as Gabrielle blushed furiously. "I don't really think anyone else needs to hear. Unless," she added, eyes twinkling, "you just want to sleep."

"Camp it is!" Gabrielle paused a moment, then said, "do I really make a lot of noise?"

Xena laughed. "You were fairly loud, yes." In a soft, husky voice she added, "I like that."

* * *

The women dismounted as they entered the village. It was small, with only one public tavern which also served as the village inn. They tied Argo near the door and walked inside.

The tavern was dark and smelled of stale beer. This early, they were the only customers besides a couple of obvious drunks nursing blackjacks of ale. Xena motioned Gabrielle to a table in the back, then went to the bar to order dinner. She returned with two glasses, which, to Gabrielle's surprise, were full of wine.

"I'm not too sure about the water around here," Xena explained. "The wine is safer by far. Just be careful," she added, not quite succeeding in keeping a straight face, "not to drink too much. You're a little, uh, silly when you're drunk."

Gabrielle refused to rise to the bait. With a haughty expression, she said, "perhaps you ought to try it yourself. Being silly, I mean."

"You're silly enough for the both of us," Xena retorted with a playful grin.

Before Gabrielle could fire the next round, the serving girl brought their plates. The food was hot and filling, but not much more. They ate quickly, the food being no reason to linger. Xena took a few sips from her glass, while Gabrielle drained hers. Xena noticed that the tavern was about half filled now, and the occupants well on their way to dissolution.

"Let's go," Xena said, rising.

"Hold up there, pretty things," a large bearded man said. He was obviously quite drunk. He ambled over to Xena, looked at the sword on her back, then lurched on to Gabrielle. "Wanna dance?"

"There's no music," Gabrielle said, unobtrusively shifting her grip on her quarterstaff. "Excuse me," she said, and started to walk past the bearded man. Xena crossed her arms and cocked her head to one side, a faint smile on her lips.

"Wait a minute," he complained, reaching for her arm. Gabrielle spun, ducked low, and smashed her staff across outstretched arm, then over and down on this head. The man fell to the floor, clutching his arm and moaning.

"I said," Gabrielle commented, stepping around the man, "excuse me." She looked over to Xena, quite satisfied with herself. Her eyes widened as she saw another man, not quite as drunk and very angry, reaching out for Xena from behind.

Xena rolled her eyes, and then snapped her head back, smashing the attacker on his nose. She spun, kicked him in the breadbasket, the head, a knee, then let her momentum take her back around to face Gabrielle. Calm and unruffled, she said, "Ready?"

They moved toward the exit. Another drunken troublemaker moved menacingly toward them. Xena walked calmly to him, stopping inches from his face. "Boo!" she growled. The man cringed and hurried away. The women left without further incident.

"Nice place," Xena drawled, untying Argo's reins. "Let's get out of here and make camp. It'll be dark before long."

"Okay," Gabrielle said, still elated. They moved back on the road, heading out of town at a brisk pace.

"Gabrielle?"

"Yes, Xena?"

"Don't skip."

* * *

The last signs of the village behind them and dusk nearing, Xena started to look for a suitable place to camp for the night. "Gabrielle, do you care if we camp near a stream tonight?"

"What ever you want, honey."

"What?"

"What what?"

"What did you call me?"

"Uh, honey?"

"Don't. Please, don't."

"Sweetie?"

"No!"

"But I have to call you something."

"How about 'Xena'?"

Gabrielle snorted. "No, a term of endearment, silly! You know, 'dear,' 'darling,' 'pookie'.."

"'Pookie'? You must be kidding. Anyway, I already have a perfectly good name."

"But sweetheart-"

"No!"

"I have to be able to express how I feel about you, baby."

"'Pookie' expresses how you feel about me?"

"Well, you know, it's cute and all."

"I," Xena snarled, "hate 'cute'. Just 'Xena', please."

Gabrielle sidled up against her and whispered, "How about 'Xena, Warrior Babe'?"

Xena glared down at her, then looked up, shaking her head. _Like a child with a new toy_, she thought. "Gabrielle, didn't I tell you to be careful with that wine?"

"Oh, I can't even feel it anymore," Gabrielle said. And what about me?"

"What about you?"

"What are you going to call me?"

"'Gabrielle.'"

"Oh, come on!"

"Okay, 'Hey you.'"

"Be serious! I want a nickname. You could call me 'Gab' or 'Relly' or 'pun'kin'.."

"Not 'pookie'?"

"Okay, if you want!"

"I like 'Gabrielle' best," Xena said with a warm smile as she put her arm around the smiling redhead's shoulders.

"'Gabby'?"

Xena just sighed and gave her a squeeze.

They continued on. As the sun started to sink, Xena pointed out a likely campsite. A short investigation confirmed her suspicion. They gathered wood, then Gabrielle saw to the campfire while Xena groomed and fed Argo. Duties finished, they sat together beside the fire.

"Okay," Gabrielle said, "no nicknames. I can handle that."

"Good," Xena said, voice low and even.

"I don't see why you're so opposed to a little verbal show of affection, but if that's how you feel, I guess I can't change your mind."

"Gabrielle, don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't play with me. You know by now how I am." Gabrielle raised her eyebrows. "Okay, well, now you do. What I mean is," Xena continued, reaching over to stroke Gabrielle's hair, "I'm just not the expressive type."

"You've been expressing yourself fairly well of late," Gabrielle commented. She grinned at the rare sight of a blush rising in Xena's cheeks. "I just want to hear you say it."

"I love you," Xena murmured, then leaned over and kissed her.

"Mmm," Gabrielle said, "I like the sound of that." She moved to sit behind the tall warrior. "Let me rub your shoulders. You're always so tense." The redhead moved Xena's dark hair to the side and began to massage her neck and shoulders.

"That feels good," Xena sighed. As Gabrielle's strong hands found and worked out the knots, Xena sighed in pleasure. Gabrielle move to Xena's upper arms, kissing her exposed neck while she kneaded. Xena seemed almost in a trance. Gabrielle nipped at her ear and whispered, "I love you." Xena smiled, her eyes closed. Gabrielle smoothly changed from massaging to rubbing. She ran her hands over Xena's armor, under the edges. Deftly, she unfastened the buckles and ties. "Lie down," she whispered.

Xena felt her armor fall and Gabrielle's hands sensuously rub her as she peeled the chemise off. Xena turned her body and reached for Gabrielle. Their mouths met in long, deep kisses. Xena pulled Gabrielle toward the blankets behind them, her hands tugging at Gabrielle's top.

"No," Gabrielle whispered, pushing Xena's hands down. Xena pulled her head back and looked into her eyes, clearly confused. "Let me," Gabrielle said, running her hands and eyes up and down Xena's body. She gently pushed Xena toward the blankets.

As she moved to join Xena, Gabrielle shed her clothing. "Lie down, on your stomach," she said, softly but firmly. Xena shrugged and complied. Gabrielle positioned herself astride Xena's extreme upper legs and began to massage her back, slowly, sensuously. Xena closed her eyes and made soft, contented noises. When Gabrielle was convinced that Xena was as relaxed as she was ever going to be, she slid off and said, "roll over."

Xena turned on her side, lifting herself up to take Gabrielle in her arms. She was stopped by Gabrielle's hand on her chest. Puzzled, she looked at Gabrielle. "What are you doing?"

"I'm in charge tonight," Gabrielle smiled. She slowly, firmly pushed Xena down. "You did most of the work last night. Now it's my turn."

Xena felt a wave of uncertainty. She was the aggressor, not little Gabrielle. "Mmm," she sighed, as Gabrielle lay on top of her, leg pressed against Xena in an unexpectedly delightful manner. _Not so little Gabrielle, _Xena thought, embracing her. Xena was aroused to the point of urgency. She started to roll over, to get Gabrielle underneath her.

Gabrielle, showing unexpected strength, pinned Xena on her back. "I like it here," she grinned. "Just relax." She began to kiss Xena's neck, throat, breasts.

Xena moaned and thrashed, wanting so much to give herself completely over to Gabrielle, but unable to give up that last bit of control, even when she wanted to.

Gabrielle, sensing Xena's struggle, moved back to her face and whispered, "It's okay, Xena. I can take care of you once in awhile. Relax." She kissed Xena's eyes closed, then kissed her lips, softly, tenderly. "I love you, Xena." Gabrielle moved down, kissing Xena's stomach, lower. Xena gasped, moaned, and finally, all doubts and fears gone, gave herself over completely.

* * *

"Wake up, Darling." Xena's voice was a whisper in her ear. Gabrielle smiled in her sleep. "Wake up." Slowly waking, she became aware of Xena's body against her back and her strong arms holding holding her. Her eyes fluttered open. She noticed that it was the middled of the night. Suddenly, she wondered if something were wrong and jerked, startled. Xena's arms held her, urged her back down. "It's okay, it's okay. You were snoring, and it woke me. That's all."

"Whazzit?" Gabrielle gathered her scrambled thoughts and tried again. "What are you talking about? I don't snore."

"Oh, yes you do," Xena chuckled. "Usually, I'm far enough away for you to wake me, or I'm already up. But you do," she continued, stroking Gabrielle's body, "snore."

"Oh, wonderful," Gabrielle groused, "I'm loud and I snore. Thanks for sharing."

Xena grinned and nuzzled Gabrielle's neck. "I can live with it. I'm used to you making a lot of noise."

"Yeah, well, you're not the most quiet person in the world yourself, y'know," Gabrielle retorted. "I couldn't possibly be any louder than you."

"I am not loud!"

"Hah!" Gabrielle snorted, then launched in to an overly-dramatic imitation of ecstatic moans.

"I do not sound like that," Xena huffed, scowling. "There is no way I could ever sound like.. that?" Gabrielle laughed and rolled over to face Xena, a truly evil grin on her face.

"I know you're kidding me, Gabrielle," Xena said in a low voice. Gabrielle just giggled. Xena, eyes narrowed to mere slits, growled, "I do not."

"Sure, Xena, sure," Gabrielle grinned. Whatever you say." Xena rolled her eyes and gave up. Gabrielle snuggled up closer and kissed Xena, her devious grin transformed to a contented smile. Gabrielle stared into Xena's eyes, losing herself in their crystal blue depths. They lay wrapped in each other's arms, not speaking.

Eventually, Xena flashed a grin and said, "Hey, you'd better get back to sleep. You're grumpy when you don't get enough sleep."

Gabrielle blinked a few times and said, "Why did you really wake me up, Xena?"

"I told you, you snore." Seeing the look of determination spring into Gabrielle's eyes, Xena added, "Um, well, I just wanted to, well, be with you."

"I'm right here, Xena," Gabrielle murmured.

"You know what I mean. Not just stare at you sleeping, but hold you and look into your eyes."

"To be held by me?"

"Yes," Xena said, feeling distress growing and not understanding why.

"Are you so afraid of needing me?"

Xena blushed and cleared her throat. "Well, I'm kind of new at this, feeling like this, and I just sort of got.."

"Scared? Lonely?" Xena nodded almost imperceptibly. "Xena, just as you would never hurt me, I will never hurt you. I will always be here for you and I will always love you. I know," Gabrielle continued, "that you like to think of yourself as invincible, needing nothing and no one, but I know the truth."

Xena started to protest, but Gabrielle hurried on, knowing full well Xena's reticence to reveal her emotions, even to herself. "Xena, I love you. I am deeply, thoroughly, passionately in love with you, and I have been for a long time. I think," she added, "that the same is true for you." Xena blushed and nodded. "So," Gabrielle continued, "It's no wonder that we both want some reassurance now that we've admitted how we feel. So if you want a hug during the night, or any time else, that's okay. I, "Gabrielle concluded, "will need plenty myself, starting now."

Xena, eyes glistening, held Gabrielle tight. "How," she whispered, "did you get so wise?"

"Not from hanging around you," Gabrielle laughed. They kissed, long, slow kisses, then drifted off toward sleep.

"I'm not loud," Xena whispered, eyes closed.

"Are too."

"Am not!"

_'What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet." - Romeo and Juliet_


End file.
